Quantcast
Channel: The Province » Incredible Hulk
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 2

15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8 –“Rage”

0
0

Well, it took eight days and a little bit of research, but the time has now come. With the impending NHL lockout set to take place on September 15th it was only a matter of time until I embraced and admitted to a certain unavoidable fact.

I’m pissed.

mad as hellresize 15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8   Rage

(Like “Network” pissed)

After looking into what is causing this work stoppage, I spent most of yesterday confused and frustrated. The number one thing that chapped my hide was the fact that the NHL owners will get paid whether there is hockey or not.

And in some cases, will actually make money if there is a lockout.

627resize 15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8   Rage

(cue angry, confused Mark Wahlberg face)

So today, on day eight of this terrible, terrible countdown I refuse to run from my intense, burning, negative emotion.

Day 8 – Rage.

angry asianresize 15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8   Rage

(If only I could find pictures of angry Canucks fans…)

While I’ve been doing this countdown, there has been a bit of anger sprinkled into my posts every day. What else can you expect when the sport you love is being torn apart by greed… or you need to search for photos of Gary Bettman?

20120813 133152 g 15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8   Rage

(I want to fight him, right in the face)

A long time ago I swore that I would never write angry. Shortly after that, I broke that vow and continue to break it every day.

Being an NHL fan can be a maddening practice. Especially when the league staunchly refuses to let the team you love win championships or let the people who gave us poutine go without another team.

xroulotte poutineresize 15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8   Rage

(Quebec gave us this, give them some Nordiques already!)

So what will I do with this newly embraced anger of mine? Well in the words of Elton John:

“Saturday night’s alright for fighting”.

This is a particularly bad course of action for a few reasons. Primarily because I don’t believe in violence. People who aren’t tough normally are adverse to it.  Besides, that phrase just reminds me even more about what’s coming.

ballardfightresize 15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8   Rage

(A lockout means no more Ballard arse kickings. This is a huge problem)

So what course of action should I take here? I’m going to go back to the Elton John well and see if I can find some better advice through his dulcet tones.

“Can you feel the love tonight?”

Nope, won’t work. Single and not into the bar scene.

“Benny & The Jets”.

Also no good. Once had that song stuck in my head for four days straight. It just makes me angrier. I want nothing to do with it.

“Don’t go breaking my heart”.

Even if I stood outside NHL head office blaring this song on a boombox, they wouldn’t care. That’s the problem that has me so damn mad today. They don’t care.

So I’ll deal with this anger in the most popular way I can think of: a poorly written all caps paragraph that accomplishes nothing and makes me look even stupider. It’s the foundation on which emotion on the internet was based.

THIS IZ RIDICLOUS NHL!!! WHY UZ LETTIN UR OWNERZ GET PAID EVEN IF THERE IS NO HOCKYE?! WTF!? I CANT BELIVE HOW GREEDY YOU B*TCHES ARE BEING!! ITS NOT LIKE UR LEAUGE IS SUPER POPULAR WORLDWIDE LIKE SOCCER OR FRISBEE GOLF. SO WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO STOOPID?! IF I HAD THE MONEY I WOULD GO ON A LEAGUE WIDE “OWNER FACE PUNCHING TOUR” WITH RON HEXTALL. IM SURE HED BE DOWN FOR SHOWING YOU GUYZ HOW STOOPID UR BEING. LET US HAVE HOCKEY, YA D*CKS!

redlanterngarybettmanresized 15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8   Rage

You know, it’s strange… but I actually feel better. Not great, but at least not as rage filled as I was a few minutes ago. I think to get the excess anger out of my system, I’m going to do what I should’ve done in the first place:

Angry dancing through the streets.

Simple, effective and hilarious to everyone but the mayor of that small town in “Footloose”.

fhd984fle john lithgow 001resize 15 Days of NHL Lockout Preparation: Day 8   Rage

(BOO THIS MAN!!!)

So if you see me out and about tonight, punching the air and dancing my rage away, I ask that you please give me my space. I’m working things out. We are seven days away from hockey being taken away by someone worse than the dude from “Footloose”, so I’ll need all the space I can get.

So that’s what I’m doing today, and while I’ll check back in with the NHL tomorrow, that’s what “Day 9″ is for.

Let us all hope a deal is miraculously reached and there is no “Day 10″….

And if you want another 90 seconds of angry dancing, YOU GOT IT!

PREVIOUS ENTRIES:

DAY 1 – “Breathe”

DAY 2 – “Pray”

DAY 3 – “Beard”

DAY 4 – “Ignore”

DAY 5 – “Football”

DAY 6 – “Jerseys”

Day 7 – “Research”

You can follow j.Bowman on twitter (@jBowmancouver). You can angry dance if you want to, you can leave your friends behind. You know the rest.



Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 2

Latest Images

Trending Articles





Latest Images